What is expressionism?

To me, expressionism is like that draw you feel to watching a car crash or a dog shit. Clearly you're supposed to look away but for some strange reason you keep watching. Expressionism is putting all the emotions that society likes to ignore and put under the rug and letting them explode all into one piece of work. I consider expressionism "naked art". As you take layers of clothes off, things change. Once you're naked, you're naked. There's nothing else to take off. Expressionism is emotion at its purest form. Expressionism is those thoughts in your head that no one else can see like when your in class and you zone out and picture what would happen if you just got up and flipped over a desk, or smacked someone that's been pissing you off in the face. Expressionism is those secret thoughts, but actually doing them.

Bipolar Emotions

Acting class was an interesting experience today. I realized that I can put a person to any situation. There's also a person that automatically comes up that can bring me to a certain emotion. I have that person that can listen to me talk for hours and it's cool when I was asked to do so because it seemed as though the words just rolled off my tongue. When I was talking to my partner, intending to use the feeling of wanting to apologize for something, I started speaking and all of a sudden it got awkward and that feeling of "well...I know what you're going to say" came up and i just thought...this is so weird. I have so many feeling that are just so unsettling, especially having to change during the coarse of a conversation. When i get myself worked up and angry, I want to stay angry. I want to finish the fight. But with this exercise it was a mixture of feelings having to changed. I almost liked it which is hard to admit because I'm knows as "loving to fight". It was actually a great feeling to go from screaming, to talking to your fragile grandma. It felt as though someone lifted a weight from off your chest. I would love to try this approach during an actual fight, obviously in a less obscure way but kind of switch opinions in the middle.

Web of love

So, going into this project I had no idea what Luke was talking about. First we needed markers and rulers...then capital letters...and our names..then what we loved. What the hell is this? Web of things we love? Oh that's easy. Then as soon as I put my pencile to the paper I was stumped. I love my family. I never really thought about WHY I loved my family so it got me thinking (which is always a great feeling). And suddenly it all started making sense. What I got out of this mural is that everytime I was coming to an end things started to repeat. Well, why are they repeating? They're repeating becuase those are the things that make me love the things I love. It's what I look for in things or people. What I thought would be really cool for a self-project is get a posterboard and make my own hecktic web of love and see after doing 100 things or so, what repeats the most in my life? I want to know what everything in my life breaks down to. what I found in the web I did today was that I love to be around people and things who RELAX me. wheather it's because they comfort me, let me express myself, support me. All these things bring relaxation to my life and aprently that's something I value very much in my life which is good to know. I also loved when I branched off into other people's webs. In a sence i felt as though I was giving them a piece of me, and they were sharing a piece of themselves with me. There were some empty spaces I notices so as the year progresses I would love if we can add more too it, possibly add color and whatever else helps us define the things that we love.

Me..me...memememe

Obviously you all care, so I'll just go out right and say it...I had an amazing summer. Not because I partied everyday and went to some deserted island and watched my skin burn away but because I feel like I found a piece of me that's been missing for a while. I figured out what TRUE SELF CONFIDENCE is. If there's every anything you want in life, it better be confidence and NO I DO NOT MEAN COCKYNESS! That's a nono. That is just lying to yourself and will cause problems in the long run. Confidence helps you in almost every aspect of life. First off with relationships. Being paranoid about every little thing and being a jealous person or worried there going to cheat never helps anyone. If you think you're the shit, then they think you're the shit and that they can't get any better. Key point: If you love yourself, it makes it easier for people to love you back. I also got a job that I love this summer! I walked right up to the manager and told him that if he was hiring, I would love to work for him. He told me to come in the next day and I've loved it ever since. When your hanging out with friends, and your paranoid about what you look like, what your wearing or what your eating, you make the people your around uncomfortable too. If you just let go and think your the prettiest ugly person out there, life gets a little easier. It's easier to laugh and talk when you're not worried about what everyone else is thinking. I have to say it's help me find a happiness that I haven't felt in while. You almost feel unstopable, like no one can hurt you. I highly recommend that everyone begins their search to finding their inner awesome.